The society is cruel. This truism is well known and hard to deny. This issue existed and will exist as far as it is connected with human nature that is always the same; only conditions and surrounding are changing. The problem of social rejection can appear in every social group beginning from kindergarten and ending with a political party. We decided to consider student environment and the way social rejection is manifested there.
Loneliness in the Crowd
In the modern universities, as it may seem, all conditions are created so that you are not alone almost all the time. Firstly, you are living in the dormitory where there are neighbors, and then you attend lectures and classes where communication with groupmates is supposed. After that, you can go for some additional activity (clubs, sports sections, etc.).
However, despite such wide variety of places, it can be hard to find not only friends but also someone to sit together in the canteen. I am sure that within your group or simply in the place where you are studying, you saw some individuals that communicate with nobody, sit alone during all classes, and, what is the most horrible, their names are hard to remember.
Usually, you cannot say exactly why it is happening. Nevertheless, sometimes there are rather evident reasons for such behavior:
- 1. Racial issue;
This problem is especially painful for international students who decided to get an education abroad. It is commonly accepted to think that a regular citizen of every country thinks that all people are equal. However, it is far from reality. In every country, there is a percentage of such people. They believe that racial origin is to be a determining factor in the attitude to every person.
- 2. Religious issue;
This issue is also not new and appears even in the friendliest societies sometimes. Moreover, the question can have the reverse side. It is the absence of any religious convictions. That can also make other people think negatively about someone.
- 3. Political convictions;
The political confrontation can appear even after simple mentioning that some politician made an announcement regarding something. Here we are: Two people or more are going almost to kill each other just because someone adheres to the opposite opinion.
- 4. Unattractiveness;
It is thought that individual’s appearance plays crucial role when it goes about the formation of the first impression. Oddly enough, but it is true. People are inclined to prejudices even before they are acquainted with a person.
If, for example, you are a woman with an unideal figure, you can expect to hear the words “fat” and “lazy” someday. No one cares that you can have a disease or another problem. In the same way, there are still those who dare to jeer at disabled people. The most horrible is that they know about general policy regarding such people; that is why they make it in underhand way while there is no one to keep an eye on them.
- 5. Socially unacceptable (strange) form of conduct;
There are different forms of conduct that can be regarded as unacceptable in the society and in the student environment.
On the one hand, the social rejection is unreasonable. It goes about those cases, when the person suffers from knocks because of his/her unordinary manner to express emotions, to speak the thoughts, to have an unpopular hobby, to read unusual books, and so on.
On the other hand, there are rather justifiable accusations. So to say, if the person conducts him/herself as a bozo, it is understandable when a social group tries to reform such person.
- 6. Psychological or physical diseases and problems.
It was already mentioned that unattractiveness of appearance could be the reason to treat a person differently comparing to the others, usually in a negative way. However, this point implies a more broad understanding of this issue.
It happens so that an individual can have an incurable illness or a disease that is contagious (AIDS, HIV, cancer, Ebola virus). It can be a reason to avoid the person or gossip about his/her illness behind the back.
How to Resolve the Problem
The discussed problem can be a challenge for rejected people. If you are that person who suffers from social rejection, consider all below-described points and define where the real ground lies.
- - Analyze in mind all those situations that evidently demonstrate the social rejection of your person;
- - Remember due to what everything has begun;
- - Write down the situations and underline those words that were said by your offenders;
- - Describe your behavior before you were humiliated;
- - Decide whether all these rude phrases into your address are true or are they not about you at all (be critical)?
- - Decide are you a victim or vice versa?
If you are avoided due to your personal convictions but you were not aggressive in the quarrel, then, remember you are not guilty. The best variant in this case is to disregard these people and avoid any dispute that can provoke the negative consequences. It is the same situation if you are a disabled person or have a serious disease. Moreover, you can easily go to any tutor and tell about the conflicts and overall unacceptance of you in the group.
However, if you feel that the main root of all your problems is you, then I would advise you to reconsider your behavior and life views in general. It can be hard to accept and realize, however, if you do not want to end your days alone or in the company of cat as the only friend, then change yourself. First times, it will be hard to control your language and emotions but as time goes by, you will notice that you are sitting no longer alone in the canteen.